9 days until Surgery

9 days until surgery....of course I still question myself...am I making the right decision, will my syptoms get better, will I have the scary side effects that I have read about. At this point after 3 years of this roller coaster ride I do believe I have made the right decision and just have to hope for the best. It all started October 2007, my job that I had started in March 2007 was the most stressful I have ever had in my life. I went to the doctor for a physical after a month of thinking something is wrong with my heart. I was getting palpitations everyday and was only sleeping maybe an hour or two at best each night. I was diagnosed with Graves Disease after blood work and the physical. I have no idea what my blood levels were at the time however I started on 15mg of methimzole and propranol to ease the symptoms. Within a few months I was so extremely tired, my endo would not call me back so I found a new endo and of course my meds needed to be ajusted. I continued on 5 mg of methimzole for a long time...gained 25 pounds, then 35, then 45 my skin was bright red like a rash on my arms and neck so my endo switched me to ptu...well the ptu made it worse and the swelling in my hands and feet was horrible. I also found myself being mad and every person that was around me annoyed me (this was not from the med but just a graves symptom). At this point I found the Graves Disease foundation and reached out to an advocate that also lives in Florida. She recommed her doctor which is located in Miami, FL at Jackson Memorial Hospital North. He is truelly amazing my first visit with him was 2 hours...he is hard to get an appointment with as he is the head of the department and a professor but the wait is well worth it. As soon as he saw me he knew I was allergic to the meds.....how on earth have I been on this medicine for almost 2 1/2 years and the other 2 doctors could not tell I was allergic.....that is crazy. For the past 6 months I have been on only atenolol (beta blocker) this has for the most part controlled my syptoms except for the occasional palpitation, anxiety, heart racing, or sleep interuption. I have taken melatonin every night almost since I was diagnosed and it definetly helps a lot. After much research I am against RAI and decided on surgery a while ago but just didn't schedule it now that I feel my syptoms are slowly getting worse.....I finally decided that it is time.